Grade I deserve in this class

My friend Stephen Colbert once said to me, "Eric, it's not what you say, it's the gravitas with which you say it. I'm assuming he said it to me. I was the only one in the room watching television when he said it.

Well, what I'm about to say takes HUGE gravitas. Gravitas, by the way, is Latin for cojones. It's also a huge departure for my personality. I am normally the humblest of the humble, but right now I smell blood. I can test the 12 quality points on the tip of my tongue.

I deserve the grade of A in Opinion Journalism. I deserve the A the same way those eggs deserve their grade of A from the USDA. Because the work is of high quality. I need not rest of my own laurels to back up this claim, however, as the quality of my work has been attested to by my peers as well as well as reflected in the contents of my already received grades in this class.

In numerous Tuesday lectures I received votes for having provided the best presentation of the day. I even won once and as was involved in another three-way tie for victory on top of being in the hunt for second and third place on numerous occasions.

So the audience enjoys my work, and while that is not a direct link to its quality, it is a testament to its efficacy and ability to attract the readers attention.

I also deserve the grade of A because of the distinctively original quality of my work. An originality that was alluded to via several blog comments I received during the semester. For example:

this was extremely entertaining!!!!

-LMR : in response to my texting grammar presentation

This. is. hilarious.
Nice dry humor. Wise cracks are a plus and a must when it comes to some of the topics. Love the presentations.
-Denver4 - texting grammar

COMMENT ON STUDENT EVALUATION:
I concur. You definitely know how to interest an audience.
-Mactavius

Also note my persistence in improving the aesthetics and internet acumen of my posts. I have learned to wrap text properly, which is no small achievement for me. I also learned how to use embed codes, and was ahead of the curve in figuring out that You Tube videos must be decreased in size in order to properly fit on one's blog post.

I also take responsibility for the classes shift from education to entertainment after the first few presentations. Which I apologize for profusely. As such I also chose to cease showing 3 minute videos in my presentations in lieu of actual intellectual content.